WRITING

Please read what I write (in no particular order):

Photo: Sinna Nasseri for The New York Times

Everybody Knows Flo From Progressive. Who Is Stephanie Courtney?

A profile of Stephanie Courtney, who has portrayed Flo in ads for the insurer Progressive for more than 15 years.


Illustration by Kelsey Dake

My Impossible Mission to Find Tom Cruise

The action star has gone to great lengths to avoid the press for more than a decade. But maybe I could track him down anyway?


Photo: Rosie Marks for The New York Times

My Brilliant Strangers

I went on a package trip for Millennials who travel alone. Help me.

A binaural torso for spatial recording inside the anechoic chamber at Orfield Laboratories.

Photo: Alec Soth/Magnum for The New York Times

Could I Survive
the “Quietest Place on Earth”?

Legends tell of a chamber in an old Minneapolis recording studio that drives visitors insane.
I figured I’d give it a whirl.


Photo: Chris Maggio for The New York Times

Photo: Chris Maggio for The New York Times

What Is Glitter?

A journey into the glittery heart of darkness for The New York Times.


Photo: Peggy Sirota for GQ

Photo: Peggy Sirota for GQ

Vote the Rock

A profile of Dwayne Johnson for the cover of GQ's 2017 Comedy issue.


Photo: Chris Buck for The New York Times

The Tao of Wee Man

A profile of “Jackass” star Jason “Wee Man” Acuña for The New York Times Magazine.

Photo: Caity Weaver

I Lived The #VanLife. It Wasn’t Pretty.

Traveling California by van for The New York Times Magazine.


Photo: Eric Ray Davidson for GQ

Justin Bieber Would Like to Reintroduce Himself

A profile of Justin Bieber for GQ's March 2016 cover.


Photo: Christopher Anderson

Cher Everlasting

An interview with Cher
for The New York Times Magazine.

Photo: Ramsay de Give for The New York Times

Can We Learn Anything From Horses?

An exploration of horse “attunement”
in Santa Fe, N.M.
for The New York Times.


Photo: Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott for GQ

The Loveliest, Sexiest, Madliest of Them All

A profile of Kim Kardashian for the cover of GQ's 2016 Love, Sex, and Madness issue.


Photo: Holly Andres for The New York Times Magazine

Photo: Holly Andres for The New York Times Magazine

There Is No Reason to Cross the U.S. by Train. But I Did It Anyway.

An account of a transcontinental Amtrak trip for The New York Times Magazine.

The hands of Phillip DiLuca, 24, a recent Carnegie honoree, clasp his gold Carnegie medal.

Photo: Nancy Andrews for The New York Times

What Makes an American Hero?
(Or a Canadian One?)

A profile of the Carnegie Hero Fund, which, for over 100 has privately rewarded for everyday heroes.


My 14-Hour Search for the End of TGI Friday's Endless Appetizers

An epic journey through Hell on a boat made of mozzarella sticks.


Photo: Ryan Pfluger for The New York Times

Who Is Sam Asghari,
Britney Spears’s Fiancé?

An interview with Sam Asghari
for The New York Times.

Photo: Alex Prager for The New York Times. Painting by Vanessa Prager

Photo: Alex Prager for The New York Times. Painting by Vanessa Prager

How Maya Rudolph Became
the Master of Impressions

A profile of Maya Rudolph for The New York Times Magazine.


Photo: Albert Bonsfills Morell for The New York Times

The Reality Behind ‘Below Deck’

A behind-the-scenes visit to the set of a behind-the-scenes show for The New York Times.



My Magical Quest to Destroy Tom Brady
and Win a Philadelphia Eagles Mini-Fridge
at Super Bowl LII

An account of my attempt to complete a scavenger hunt [I invented for myself] LIVE at the Super Bowl.

Photo: Vincent Tullo for The New York Times

The Secret to Beauty:
A Stranger’s Hands
Inside Your Mouth

An exploration of a $285 facial for
The New York Times.


Photo: Alexander Coggin for The New York Times

Photo: Alexander Coggin for The New York Times

I Also Went to the Royal Wedding

An account of me pulling off the scam of a lifetime by getting my job to send me to cover the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle (from “Suits”).

Photo: Alexander Coggin for The New York Times

The Rise of the Spice Girls Generation

The Spice Girls’ legacy, examined on the occasion of their reunion tour.


Photo: Christian Weber for GQ

Photo: Christian Weber for GQ

Cardi B’s Money Moves

A profile of Cardi B for GQ’s May 2018 issue.


Screen capture from video by Paul Windle

Meetings. Why?
Searching for an explanation of why meetings occur for The New York Times.

Photo: Margeaux Walter for The New York Times

I’m Working Remotely. Can I Keep Hiding
My Secret Baby?


Installment of the “Work Friend” advice column for
The New York Times


Photo Illustration by Tala Safie for The New York Times

1994 Was a Prison of My Own Making
An attempt to re-inhabit the year 1994 for one week, for The New York Times.


Illustration by Lina Müller

Does ‘The Da Vinci Code’ Writer Have a Secret?

An investigation of an unfindable early Dan Brown book for The New York Times.

Photo: Johnathon Kelso for
The New York Times

They Are What You Eat

A visit to the headquarters of your favorite mall foods for The New York Times.


Illustration: Zohar Lazar for GQ

Illustration: Zohar Lazar for GQ

The Yunited States of Yuge

A tour of Donald Trump's luxury real estate holdings for GQ's September 2016 issue.


Photo: Nathan Bajar for
The New York Times

Keke Palmer Keeps a Check
A profile of Keke Palmer for
The New York Times.

Photo: Quil Lemons for
The New York Times

Pamela Anderson’s
Garden of Eden

A profile of Pamela Anderson for The New York Times.

Photo: Braylen Dion for
The New York Times

Porsha in Protest
A profile of Porsha Williams for The New York Times.


Photo: Emiliano Granado for The New York Times

What in the World Is a $590 Scratch-and-Sniff T-shirt Doing in 2020?
An examination of a scented luxury t-shirt for The New York Times.


Photo: Cass Bird for GQ

Photo: Cass Bird for GQ

Gal Next Door

A profile of Gal Gadot for GQ's 2017 Men of the Year issue.

Photo: Art Streiber for GQ

Photo: Art Streiber for GQ

There’s Something Funny About Tiffany Haddish

A profile of Tiffany Haddish for GQ’s April 2018 issue.


Pittsburgh Public Schools Photographs/Detre Library & Archives, via Heinz History Center

The Record Keepers’ Rave
A spin through archivists’ monthly online parties for The New York Times.


Photo Illustration by Julia Panek; Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo (background), Nicole Weingart/Bravo (champagne), Adam Olszewski/Bravo (shoes), Nicole Weingart/Bravo (Kyle Richards)

Photo Illustration by Julia Panek; Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo (background), Nicole Weingart/Bravo (champagne), Adam Olszewski/Bravo (shoes), Nicole Weingart/Bravo (Kyle Richards)

The Sound of ‘Housewives’ Everywhere

A dreamy dive into the world of “Real Housewives” background music composition for
The New York Times.

Photo: Spencer Lowell for GQ

Photo: Spencer Lowell for GQ

Yes, We Ken.

An exclusive behind-the-scenes look at the unholy birth of Mattel's new pan-racial Ken dolls for GQ.


The Unmitigated Chaos of America’s Attempt
at Color-Coded Covid Guidance

A survey of states’ color-coded Covid-19 alert systems for The New York Times.

QVC: Quarantine, Value, Convenience
A time-capsule portrait of QVC’s intrepid broadcast efforts as America entered lockdown.


Photo: Peter Yang for GQ

Photo: Peter Yang for GQ

Jordan Peele is Terrifying

A Q&A with director Jordan Peele about his horror film Get Out for the March 2017 issue GQ.

Photo: Justin Bettman for GQ

Photo: Justin Bettman for GQ

Trixie Mattel is for Men (and Women and Kids)

A profile of Trixie Mattel for GQ.com's LGBTQ vertical.


Photo: Peggy Sirota for GQ

Photo: Peggy Sirota for GQ

The Sweater Abides

A short profile of Jeff Bridges for an October 2017 GQ fashion story.

Photo: Sebastian Kim for GQ

Photo: Sebastian Kim for GQ

Patrick Stewart Will Look Great Forever

A walking tour of Brooklyn with Patrick Stewart for a February 2017 GQ fashion story.


Photo: Peter Hapak for GQ

Photo: Peter Hapak for GQ

Screencapture via Netflix

What Is It About Dating Shows Where Contestants Can’t See Each Other?
A meditation on sight-unseen dating shows for
The New York Times.

Travolta Holds Court

An interview with John Travolta for the
December 2016 issue of GQ.


Image: Jim Cooke for Gawker

Image: Jim Cooke for Gawker

The Best Restaurant in the World Is: EPCOT

A multi-part restaurant-themed travelogue through Walt Disney World's EPCOT, written with
Rich Juzwiak.

Image: Jim Cooke for Gawker

Image: Jim Cooke for Gawker

Gravy Boat: My Week on the High Seas With Paula Deen and Friends

An epic journey through Hell on a boat
with Paula Deen.